THE GOOD: Flashing lights convey a message for theatre goers, curtain time is rapidly approaching or intermission is nearly over. It’s time to go back to your place for the rest of the show. These are probably my favorite flashing lights. Let’s watch the show.

Flashing lights are used to convey a variety of messages. Morse code flashes of dot, dot, dot, dash, dash, dash, dot, dot, dot is widely known as a call for help. “Save Our Ship” and “Save Our Souls” often given as the words behind the acronym. This distress signal is widely known.

THE BAD: Fire trucks, ambulances and police cars use flashing lights to indicate public service activity. Accidents, fires, inujuries and criminal activity are a few of the events which initiate flashing light (and siren) response. Utility trucks, wide-load vehicles and occasionally automobiles use flashing lights to indicate a need for caution. I appreciate all these flashing lights, they keep me alert.

 

THE UGLY: There are also flashing lights that frustrate me. They seem to demand, but certainly at least suggest, that action should be taken. Talking with friends indicates that the frustration is common. I would guess that it has happened to nearly all of us when the power goes out.

I woke the other morning to see the bedside digital clock flashing 12:00. Thinking what that meant for the morning brought forth a sigh. Oh well, I’ll just have some coffee and then . . . oh, electric coffee pot. That’s alright I’ll just heat some water to . .. . oops, electric range. Good time to catch up on the news . . . oh, maybe I’ll just read . . . wait, no lights. No way to do anything productive. Might as well take advantage of the situation and go back to sleep. When I get up I know I’ll find clocks all over the place flashing away.

After my nap I see that power has been restored as the clocks now all flash 12:43. So I began the obvious chore – resetting the clocks. With cell phone in hand I make my way to the digital clocks, the thermostat, the microwave, the range, the coffee pot, the VCR. After oversleeping and completing these unscheduled chores I decide that I’ve done enough work for one day. Think I’ll go to the theatre and enjoy the aftermath of the flashing lights there.

As the new year approached you may have received anywhere from one to one dozen calendars from various businesses. You may have received a calendar as a gift. While calendars are handy I find I can usually keep track of the season, year, month, day, and perhaps even the time of day, by watching ads and programming on television.

What season is it? For the most part, I can pretty well guess by whatever sport is being broadcast. If it’s early in the baseball season, must be spring. Mid-season baseball means summer and as the World Series approaches you can count on it being fall. Three seasons easily identified by baseball. The football season starts before baseball is finished so there is some overlap. But, as the football season gets well underway I know we are moving into winter. The Super Bowl is a winter event and by Super Bowl time basketball is moving rapidly to its championships as well. What do you know, another overlap. Basketball is waning, baseball has started and we are back to spring. Not to discount the timeliness of soccer, racing, croquet, badminton, beach volleyball, ping pong, archery, and all those other exciting sports left unnamed but, the seasons have been clearly defined for me by the three initially mentioned.

But, what month is it? Well, again, I can often name the month by just watching commercials. I rely on sports for most months as well as seasons but also recognize commercials. Inane perfume ads fill the days before Christmas. Automobile ads follow in January along with vacation and hotels ads and what seems like millions of ads for new drugs. Whether or not you are sick, please “. . .ask your doctor if ^&#$ is right for you.” Each month has a major product offered just as each has a named flower, gemstone.

But, what day is it? Again, I simply turn on the TV and the majority of programming lets me know. College games? Must be Saturday. Pro sports afternoon games? Probably Sunday. Mid-week? Usually no sports but just look at the weather report, it will tell you what happened yesterday and if you know what day of the week yesterday was you will know today and tomorrow.

What time is it? Early morning, so-called news shows present me with a chance to catch some celebrity touting his/her latest movie, a book signing, a concert, etc. A little later in the morning I often find some locally produced time fillers, children’s programming or game shows . Much of the rest of the day is filled with various judges handing out final decisions to people who don’t seem to mind looking foolish in front of millions of viewers. Then, as late afternoon approaches, it’s time for the lawyers to tell you why you might be owed large sums of money for some injury you may have suffered. Then, as the dinner hour approaches the focus seems to be on personal issues of hygiene, disfunction, personal cleanliness, etc. I’m sure I needn’t elaborate on the products represented.

These observations work for me. However, if you must absolutely have a more precise determination of the season, year, month, day and hour – just check your cell phone.

Bonita

CAVEAT: Methods mentioned above will be nullified in 2016 as it is an election year. I will probably avoid as much television as I can. I am not a fan of politicians and their ads. In my mind the majority appear to believe their suitability for the jobs they seek is best evidenced by demeaning their opponents. And I could happily live the rest of my life without the overworked phrase: ‘I have a plan to remedy the problem of *#*&@. (I’ll be happy to explain it after I am elected.)” Is that really having our country’s best interests at heart?

Don’t know whether it’s the time of year which brings less sunshine and colder temps, or the approach of the holidays, or just being cranky – but I am.

Shouldn’t happen – been seeing some really good theatrical productions lately including Spinning Tree’s Turn of the Screw and Metropolitan Actors Ensemble’s Vincent in Brixton. There are many other productions going on all over the KC area. This is a boom town for theatre goers. Most productions are good-to-very good and some are excellent.

Of course, the past few weeks in KC have been all about baseball (not that there is anything wrong with that). Mania to the extent that some of the fine productions currently on the boards have had too few audience members. Then, there were some trying to change dates complaining that productions shouldn’t be scheduled while the Royals are in the World Series. Let’s just say that IF producers had been given assurance in the summer/fall of 2014 that the team would in fact be in the Series, they would have been happy to schedule around it. As we all know, this is impossible. There were, of course, theatre goers who planned a little ahead, recording the games to be watched after returning home from the theatre showing that there is more than one way to enjoy both.

So, of course, celebrate the KC Royals World Series win but also remember to celebrate the opportunities that live theatre presents. Get that ticket. See that show. Support the home town actors (IMHO often underpaid) as you would support the home town team players (IMHO often overpaid)

Wow, Cranky enough for you? Check in December – I promise to be in a better mood.